Twisted

I LOVE YOU. NOT BECAUSE THE BIBLE TELLS ME TO. BUT BECAUSE THE FIRST TIME I HEARD YOUR VOICE IT MOVED ME IN A WAY MY YOUNG SPIRIT JUST COULD NOT UNDERSTAND. THAT VOICE, SO DEEP IT REMINDED ME OF ROLLING THUNDER. I KNEW I WOULD SPEND THE REST OF MY LIFE PRACTICALLY WORSHIPING THE GROUND YOU WALKED ON. I SPENT THE BEGINNING OF MY LIFE CONSTANTLY REACHING FOR YOUR HAND. YOU NEVER MISSED A BEAT, YOU’D PUT MY TINY HAND IN THE PALM OF YOUR OWN AND FOR THE FIRST SIX YEARS OF MY LIFE YOU’D WHISPER IN MY EAR, “YOU WILL ALWAYS BE MY BABY GIRL” AND “DADDY LOVES YOU”. YOU SMILED WITH YOUR EYES AND THE TWINKLE THEY HELD MADE ME KNOW THAT YOU WERE PROUD JUST BEING MY DADDY.
ONE DAY I WOKE UP AND YOU WERE GONE. YOU WEREN’T PHYSICALLY GONE BUT THAT TWINKLE IN YOUR EYE HAD WASHED AWAY. I WAS SIX YEARS OLD AND COULDN’T QUITE UNDERSTAND WHY WHEN YOU LOOKED AT ME, “YOU” WERE NO LONGER THERE. I REMEMBER LATE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT, CRAWLING OUT OF MY BED AND SEARCHING FOR YOU, FINDING YOU IN FRONT OF A TELEVISION WITH WATER STREAMING DOWN YOUR EYES. WAS THAT THE NIGHT DADDY? WAS THAT THE NIGHT YOUR TWINKLE WASHED AWAY? I DIDN’T UNDERSTAND. I COULDN’T UNDERSTAND. BUT I HELD ONTO THOSE TIMES YOU USED TO LOOK AT ME AND IT SEEMED THAT I WAS THE ONLY THING IN THIS WORLD THAT COULD MAKE YOUR EYES TWINKLE, SO I BEGAN. I TWIRLED IN MY DRESS AND DANCED TO OUR FAVORITE SONG AND CRAWLED ONTO YOUR LAP EVERY CHANCE I GOT JUST TO SAY “DADDY I LOVE YOU” AND “I’LL ALWAYS BE YOUR LITTLE GIRL”. GIVING YOU GOODNIGHT KISSES AND THE BIGGEST HUGGS A SIX YEAR OLD COULD MUSTER TO HELP YOU GET THAT TWINKLE BACK. BUT YOU WERE GONE.
LIKE A SOLDIER IN AN ARMY I WAS A ONE WOMAN SEARCH CREW. I SPENT THE NEXT 15YRS OF MY LIFE LOOKING INTO THE EYES OF ANY MAN THAT HAD EYES LIKE YOURS. I NEEDED TO FIND THAT THING THAT MADE ME FEEL AS IF SOMEONE THOUGHT I WAS SPECIAL. I FINALLY FOUND IT DADDY. BEYOND THE HAND PRINTS, BLACK AND BLUE BRUISES THAT COVER ME, THA BLACK EYE AND THA BUSTED LIP, I FOUND IT. AS I WIPE THE BLOOD FROM THE CORNER OF MY MOUTH I DON’T NEED TO WONDER. I KNOW HE LOVES ME. HE THINKS I’M SPECIAL. WHEN HE’S NOT ANGRY, HE HAS THIS TWINKLE IN HIS EYE, AND I KNOW I PUT IT THERE. HE LOVES ME. HE SAYS, WITH A VOICE THAT ROLLS LIKE THUNDER “YOU WILL ALWAYS BE MY BABY GIRL.” DADDY, THAT’S WHAT I CALL HIM AND HE LOVES ME.
OH, THE BRUISES? THAT’S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I ACT UP. MY DADDY TELLS ME THAT NO MATTER WHAT THOUGH, HE’LL NEVER LEAVE ME AND I KNOW HE’S TELLING ME THE TRUTH.
HOW DO I KNOW? ITS THAT TWINKLE IN HIS EYE.

Mys Reign 2010